Maven Session = Humiliation Session

I signed up for the Maven Sessions for an opportunity to take a wakeboarding class from a professional wakeboarder. I was very optimistic that with a little coaching, a real boat and professional gear, this could be me:

Yeah, that wasn't me. This was me:



I was very close to this being me:
The whole experience was in turns annoying, irritating, depressing and humiliating. First it was annoying because the pro-wakeboarders were late. The event was supposed to start at 9:00 and they didn't even arrive to set up until 9:15. Then it got irritating. Of the 11 girls there to learn to ride, there were 3 children, 1 mom and 7 of us in my approximate age range. Who did I get to ride with? You guessed it - the 3 children and the mom, while my 6 potential wakeboarding friends went in the other boat. Then it got depressing as the first rider in my boat - a 10 year old girl - let us know that she was there to try to land {insert name of a trick I've never heard of here} for her next competition. Yep, she could jump wake to wake and do ollie-180's and more shit than I can name. Then when it was finally my turn, it got humiliating. I sucked thoroughly and showed a prodigious talent for being utterly uncoachable. My last attempt knocked the wind out of me, knocked my feet out of my bindings and snapped my ponytail holder clean off. I landed face down in the water and my fear of drowning caused a minor panic attack. Humiliating, I tell you.

It's so depressing to want something so bad and then to underachieve so completely.